shopping with thorns
by higasm
Summary: Variaxoc they are going shopping O    O M for language.  please r&r


DISCLAIMERS: I DON'T OWN KATEKYO HITMAN REBORN.

I did this story because I thought it would be hilarious. Ahahahahahaha.

"Trash, get me some vodka", said Xanxus. "Fuck you, you don't own me. Get your god damn vodka yourself, lame boss", yelled Yumi from across the couch.

"Trash, you listen; I'm the boss. You listen to me, trash. So get me my fucking damn vodka", growled Xanxus and he hurled his "Chateau Lafite" wine bottle at Yumi."Damn you boss. Get the freaking wine yourself", yelled Yumi.

"You don't talk to the bosso like that", said Levi next to Xanxus like a dog. "Damn you dog", said Yumi. "You do not insult the boss like that" said Levi.

"VOIIIIIIII. QUIET DOWN, DAMN YOU, I WANT SOME QUIET", yelled Squalo. "You should be quiet! You are freaking loud. I'm not deaf, but you just made me", yelled Yumi while covering her ears. "DAMN YOU, GET WHATEVER THE BOSS WANTS AND SHUT HIM UP" yelled Squalo again.

"It's okay, I'll get the wine", said Lussuria in a girly voice. He went into the kitchen to get a bottle of wine. All of a sudden Lussuria froze. "Lussu-nee, did you get the wine yet?" asked Yumi. "Ahhhhhhhhh, there's a slight problem", said Lussuria. "WHAT THE HELL CAN POSSIBLY HAPPEN. ARE YOU STUPID? GET THE GOD DAMN WINE. …YOU KNOW WHAT, NEVER MIND. I'LL GET THE STUPID, GOD DAMN WINE", yelled Squalo. He walked across the living room to the kitchen. All of a sudden he froze too.

"Is there a god damn freaking problem in there? How hard is it to get a freaking bottle of wine?" yelled Yumi and she went to the kitchen. Yumi look in the cupboard and froze. _This is gonna be good. All hell was going to be set loose._

"Hey, god damn lazy boss, there is no more wine" yelled Yumi mockingly. "GOD DAMN YOU, YOU USELESS SCUM. HOW THE FUCKING GOD DO YOU RUN OUT OF WINE. GET OUT OF HERE AND BUY ME A FUCKING BOTTLE OF WINE BEFORE I BLOW THE WHOLE LIVING ROOM", yelled Xanxus.

"Oh, Xanxus, we are not going to the market to buy one. You are going with us", said Yumi with a sneer. "Oh, that would be wonderful. Let's go shopping for clothes later too Yumi", said Lussuria, while clapping his hands. Yumi's eyes twitched a little.

A voice came from the other side of the door. The door opened. "Oh, the prince is bored. I'm coming with you too. Ushishishishishishi", said Belphagor. Mammon floated besides Bel. "I'll only come this time. Next time, you will have to pay me", said Mammon.

"Scum, I never said I'm going with you trashes. Go get me my vodka", roared Xanxus. His scars grew and spread across his face.

"Oh, I'm sorry Xanxus. That won't do. Either you come with us to get your god damn wine or you don't get any wine", said Yumi with pursed lips.

"God damn you, useless bags of trash. I'm not freaking going with you, scum. Get my god damn vodka or I'm blowing up everything", said Xanxus lighting his flame. "Oh no, you can't do that. You don't go there is no vodka" Yumi said with a sneer. "Don't you there insult the boss" said Levi from the left side of Xanxus. Xanxus punched Levi in the face. "Boss" whined Levi and he nelt to the floor.

Yumi broke out in laughter. "Oh god, what a useless dog", said Yumi and laughed at Levi. Bel did his ushishishishishishi and Mammon snickered. Xanxus gave everyone the death look. They all quieted down but still had a sneer.

"Xan-chan, why don't you come with us? We can go shopping together", beamed Lussuria.

"Damn you. I don't do the shopping that's what you scums are for", snarled Xanxus.

"That hurt my feeling Xan-chan" sobbed Lussuria. "Stop calling my name with –chan. I don't care about your god damn feelings. And I will go to the damn market to get my wine. What the hell are you scums for anyways?" asked Xanxus with a snarl

"Eh, didn't you know. We are best friends from the moment since birth. We are a clique. We will have your back when you fall", said Yumi sarcasticly with her hands to her heart. Bel took out his knives.

"Fuck you. We are going out now", said Xanxus.

"I call wheel" claimed Yumi. "Ushishishishshi, this is going to be fun" laughed Bel. Mammon stood on Bel's shoulders and they strolled after Yumi.

"VOIIIIII, YOU SHOULD NEVER DRIVE. THE LAST TIME, YOU DROVE US INTO A MALL, BASTARD. YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A FUCKING DRIVERS LICSEN. I'M DRIVING" yelled Squalo and attempted to take the keys from the counter, but they weren't there. "WHAT THE HELL?" yelled Squalo for the fifth time in an hour. He turned his head to face Yumi.

"Well, too bad. I have the keys" said Yumi while showing them the keys she took from the counter and waved them in Squalo's face. Squalo's face dropped at thinking what would happen to them. He swallowed. The last time he had to go to the hospital and get 6 stiches.

"This is going to kill us, Yumi-chan" said Lussuria. Yumi shrugged her shoulders and walked out of the door following Xanxus and Levi's broken, bloodied face.


End file.
